Hall of Finished Projects 2016-All

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Chronic Depression, Dyeing Yarn and Cables Galore

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   Dealing with my chronic depression again today. Even posted on Instragram a few things that people may not know about others who deal with depression every day. 

1) Constantly lonely (even when surrounded by people)
2) Suicidal ideation (not plans, just wishful thinking at times)
3) Not feeling as if we deserve love.
4) Hiding it from others (chronic depression is functional depression...)
5) Always feeling sad. And I mean always.

   What is getting me down lately? Lots of stuff, but at this moment it is how much I wish I was working in my field. But because I have kids and a really good paying job, I cannot take the substantial pay cut (even if it is just initial), not to mention the over $600 dollars I would need to dish out the first year or two to be fully licensed. Pay cut and that money? Not in the cards. 

  Which makes me feel like such a hypocrite. I was just telling someone today to make a list of all the jobs they could ever possibly want, sky's the limit. And here I am feeling stagnate to be a good mother. Life is rough, isn't it?

   But I still find good things to make life enjoyable. It's not torture or anything haha. But maybe this is what being adult is, giving up some dreams to be there for your kids, right?

  There was yarn dyeing happening this weekend, and I am out of purple dye (boo hoo!!!) 

Check it out:

Seriously in love with dyeing yarn and not going to stop. Planning on some yellow yarn with maybe a teal green speckled on it. We'll see!

Also managed to get a good way into A Latte Can Happen, by Erica Jackofsky. Using knitpicks.com stroll tonal in inverness. Put it aside to start a baby blanket that needs to be done way too soon... (eek!).

  Keep your heads up, everyone. One step at a time and find joy where we can. Cuddling with our kids. Chasing our kids like a monster (growling and all). Dyeing yarn, knitting, crocheting, writing, singing. Find the joy.

Be Well!