Hall of Finished Projects 2016-All

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

What to Not Talk About, and Knitting

In my family of origin (definition linked), we did not talk about mental health issues. But I made this blog in an effort to break the silence. And even the word "issues" I take to task. I have battled depression since I was 8 years old, and as I am turning 36 this year and still battle it (especially yesterday and today), I doubt that it is ever going away.

  But why should I be ashamed? I took my kids out to the park yesterday, even though I REALLY didn't want too. I managed to not lay on the couch and sleep this weekend, even though that is what I wanted to do (maybe I played a little too much World of Warcraft lol). Actually, I didn't sleep in at all, haha, but I did sure my kids are safe, healthy, fed, as well as loved and cuddled, so I'm doing pretty good. (This is me giving myself some compassion and a break lol.)

  I am not ashamed that once a month my hormones (about two weeks before my period) remind me that I cannot fight off those feelings anymore and keep myself as mindful and busy. Sometimes I have to sit back and give myself a break and instead of fighting them, relax my chest, let myself cry and allow myself to feel what I need to feel without clinging to it and letting it pass (kind of like the Dune "Fear is the Mindkiller" quote). Sometimes I cry all the way to work, and that is okay too.

  But I am looking forward. I will pull myself together enough to do the four hour bazaar I am selling at this Friday and that also means a short week at work. Though, sometimes work makes me pull energy up and work it. I work with good people too.

  What I have been doing is working on the Tracery Vest by Kathleen Sperling, the pattern I have is from the Unofficial Harry Potter Knits, Special Issue 2013. This is a wonderful ebook of patterns that I cannot suggest enough.

On a last note, I did add a page to my blog, and next year will make a new page to highlight each finished object for each year. I will leave the page I have now up as all of the past years. I am planning on labeling each picture with a link of what the pattern is, but that will take some time.

Have a fantastic week, I hope you had a great fourth of July weekend. If you are fighting depression like I am, keep your head up and remember that it always passes. So keep moving forward, do not surrender and tread that water.

Much love!