Hall of Finished Projects 2016-All

Thursday, March 3, 2016

I just want to go home and knit...

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  I know you folks will understand. Sometimes, all I want to do is knit, and yes, ignore all my adult problems. My kids are not included in that because they are my little cuddle bugs.

  Yesterday I received some disappointing career news and I'm very frustrated. With my history, I am sitting here feeling negative emotions, and Buddhism says to embrace it and accept the feelings. Which, for me, means to relax into it, have a cry, and rephrase what happened in my head to a learning experience and then to look forward by making plans.

  Sometimes, life can be so tangled.

  Nothing will ever happens the way we want it to happen.

  Maybe it doesn't initially turn out better, but I really do think that life is like waves on the ocean. Sometimes they are high and the wind is playing with them, and sometimes they are low and crashing. Most of the time, it seems to be a holding pattern where we are in the middle between the two extremes to some degree or another.

  I have a history of depression from since I was 8 years old and I do not hide it but have learned to manage it towards recovery. There is a core of strength inside all of us that helps us get through the rough patches, and we all have our histories and negative voices that haunt us as adults.

  As knitter's and/or crocheters, we know all too well how much help yarncrafting is to interrupt the thoughts that can drag us down into the quagmire (oo a "q" word) of our minds. That can lead us to laying on the couch motionless and staring listlessly at the television (absolutely no judgment here, I have been there).

  But with each stitch, with each row, with each project done, we turn our emotional quagmire into something more. We turn the experience into a productive item that is used to warm people, comfort people, make someone smile or laugh.

  At 35 years old, with quite a bit silver hair (so proud of my gray hairs!!), I am proud of my ability to change my perspective. Proud of my strength without cruelty. Proud of the fact that I am still able to be present for my children.

  Some days are harder than others. Last night, I was a little curt. But I still got to cuddle with my oldest while she finished her homework, and cuddle with my youngest. The waters are going back to still for the moment, and I need to be okay with that. I will be okay with that.

  Keep yarncrafting folks. Be kind to yourselves. Be compassionate to yourself, and it will be easier to be compassionate towards others.

Be Well!