Hall of Finished Projects 2016-All

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Knitting Then The Day's Crap

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Happy Hump-Day everyone! May it be all you ever imagined it could be and may the odds ever be in your favor! In some fun news, Zazzle.com was having a major black friday sale, so I managed to get some more etsy shop business cards that I am super excited about! 

Life is marching along, but the holiday blues have definitely smacked me upside the head. To keep me focused I'm still working on my Water Shawl by Fiddleknits to put in my shawl, It just isn't my cup of tea so finished item will be up in the shop. The dropped stitches and wrapped spaces are not my thing. I am almost finished with it, actually, this picture is early last week.

Progress is being made on my daughter's celtic owl pullover but I have no updates to share as my needles will not permit it haha. The picture below is the Three Color Cowl and another version of this will be in the shop in the new year.

To tell the truth:

Today was actually a pretty shitty day. My mother fell ill, so I had to leave work to take care of my 4 year old she watches, and I worried about my mother all day. Then I began to hear about the horrible mass shootings that occurred, and my heart bruised for this country. Then I received a letter from my state civil service department, rejecting my application to take an exam. So I ended up throwing a knitting project across the room and sitting on the couch watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix while I waited for Izzy to die (yes I know morbid, but when I realized that was what I was doing, I had to chuckle).

  Isn't it odd, the thoughts that go through our head? I saw that yes, I made the decision to dwell in a little bit of self-pity, rather than clean (which I'm sure my husband would have preferred). Instead I hovered in my spirit between depression and meditation. What this means is that I was able to see exactly what I was thinking and feeling, with a little bit of distance and self-kindness, but I was not quite able to descend into that state in which I could allow the depression to dissipate. 

  With all of the death, disappointment, and frustration that so many of us feel each day. I was still able to hover in that space. Even with the frustration with not being able to do either of the two things that I've been most passionate about in my entire life, teaching and therapy, I am still able to improve myself and use meditation to be kind to myself. Do you love yourself? Have you actually reached down into your stomach and held the hand of the child that you were? Have you sat in a circle with all of the selves that you have been and all of the selves that you will be and breathed in harmony with love and kindness? 

  I probably sound crazy, but I honestly do not care. It helps me survive, and I am able to be a better person because of my efforts, as well as keep a sense of humor about my stresses. 

Be well, be loving to yourself. Not arrogant and nose up in the air, but a genuine caring and love to yourself and all of the people you have ever been.