Hall of Finished Projects 2016-All

Sunday, June 28, 2015

To Be Honest: Chronic Depression

I usually try to keep my blog happy and upbeat, but that goal has made it hard to write a blog post lately. So if you are looking for a fun and funny blog post, this will not be it, and I just cannot make apologies for it. 

 DEPRESSION sucks and part of depression is to feel lonely. I wonder if those who suffer from depression are more likely to have strong introverted personality traits. And I have definitely felt lonely lately. I haven't been able to go out to my knitting groups due to life events, and was also sick. 

As someone who is chronically depressed, it is so easy to feel lonely. I wonder if I'm enough. I know that as someone who is chronically depressed I am not the best of friends, I draw back and sometimes it takes time for me to reach out again. This was especially painful in high school and lonely. I would date someone for two weeks and break up because I would draw back, made it hard to actually go anywhere with a relationship (no sluttish behavior, I was not sleeping around at all lol). 

Along with a wave of minor depression, my knitting mojo has taken off on vacation. But I did finally manage to cast on a poncho for work, though the pattern I wanted is causing me to do some changes. Deloverly by Karen Walker, the pattern calls for sport weight yarn but I've added some stitches and am using a fingering weight instead from Celestial Strings Yarn

    My daughter and I also went out to see Inside Out, which made me cry, last night. My point here is that just because it is hard for me to move and do anything, either from my depression or my lack of a thyroid, I still do things. But I was exhausted after the movie just from being around all those people in the theater. 

  Done whining. Promise. Next post will be better. The nice thing about having been dealing with depression for 26 years? I know it will pass.