Hall of Finished Projects 2016-All

Monday, April 25, 2011

Graduate School Graduation Planning

Is that a tongue-twister or what? :D

 So I'm bored and need cheering up so I decided to figure out when I would be done with graduate school. So after this LO is born, if I got back next January, I'll graduate May of 2016. So in five years I'll be certified to be a child mental health therapist in New York State. Very cool. It's funny because I had thought that I only had to do an internship, which would have sucked, but it turns out I need to do an externship too. But it works out as I'll be finished with all of my classes by December 2014, then in the Spring 2015 do an externship. Then for the Fall 2015 and Spring 2016 wrap up my internship and I'll be done!
  I'll have to reduce my hours at my state job to do the internship but my boss knows it's coming somewhere down the line.
  Hopefully my husband is done with his college by December of 2014 so I can do that and he'll be working as a respiratory therapist, that would be nice.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Missing People

Part of the problem with moving around alot for a few years is that even with the online wave of connection it's still hard to stay close to people you use to really know. So now I'm 31, and pregnant again and I'm lonely.
  My husband has herniated discs so he's always in pain and really has no time for me or my loneliness. So I miss a few people that I'm just not close too and honestly have their own lives and problems their living. Just like when I was a teenager, and I noticed that people have very little time for others who aren't always in their immediate vicinity. I don't blame them, it's not like that. One has many children to care for and a college degree to work on, the other has a boyfriend recovering from brain surgery. So I'm probably more sympathetic to their not having time for me, but that doesn't stop me from being lonely.
  People suggest family, well my family is not close or they are false and I keep my distance; so no help there. So I'm left with ghosts, memories, regrets, and the hormones and uncomfortability of having cancer, being pregnant and being so lonely.
  I worry that this will hurt my raising of my daughters, how can I show them about real relationships and life when I have none? When my most meaningful relationships are with ghosts?
  Slowly, ever so slowly I'm making new relationships.. But I'm so hesitant and fearful, and shy. I have no idea what to do and will likely not make the first move.
  But today, today.. I just want to huddle down in bed, watch the rain fall and cry. Tears just flow down.. every day.. a waterfall of loneliness. And wish I was surrounded by arms and support, when I'm not. I have to be that support.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Finding Humor Every Day

So I know, most of the time I vent and bitch and complain. Here is my honest to goodness effort to absolutely NOT do that :D.

This morning I woke up, and rolled my 20 week pregnant body out bed and made my way to the bathroom. When I came back to my bedroom my 3 1/2 year old is sitting up in the bed with my People magazine issue open on her lap and she's looking at the pictures. She looks up at me and says "These pictures are amazing!"

Seriously.

I cracked up and kissed her and got dressed for work.

Cried all the way in (yay I know, kind of depressing).

Once I got to work, parked it and almost ran into a big truck's side view mirror (that really would have hurt). I get to my desk and sit down. Has anything else happened by 12:20 PM that is funny? Not really, this has been kind of a boring day, other then my angel saying such funny things and my other daughter Rose moving around in my stomach.

I did purchase a new memoir for my Kindle, and discovered the ignore button on the Babycenter.com board hehe (yay)! But other then to say that the book I purchased was "All that is Bitter and Sweet: A Memoir" by MaryAnne Vollers and Ashley Judd about Ashley Judd. From reviews it will be good, but like the title says, probably a little bitter.

And finally, officially, I am having a little girl and her name is Roslyn Willow Riley (Rose for short). Yay for more women in the world :D.